Category: the Rant Board
I do not post often or directly about my life. I have successfully takent he initiative to do well throughout Undergrad and come out with a Bachelor's degree, to make my own plane/train/bus trips to various points in the country, to network and make new friends, to try everything from fencing to scaling my way down the side of a steep rock wall to get to a waterfall pool. I saved up the money and moved myself - with the support and assistance of friends and family - from my hometown to a completely different state in a place of my own. I have worked varied jobs, volunteer and internship alike.
So please tell me, world, in 2012 and with all of this shiny technology and opportunity, why I cannot go out at night. I can't traverse the city streets alone, even well-lit, to attend a concert and get home safely. Tell me why there is not a solid enough method to give me the same level of safely a normal pedestrian would have.
Guide dogs aren't a good tool to use if you want to go to a loud, crowded metal concert or work an internship in a mental health field. Canes aren't adequate enough sensory information or protection on manic, sometimes dark or suddenly crowded, weekend city streets at night. Friends are unreliable, because people are simply unreliable and nobody is your slave.
I do not know if it's a failure solely related to blindness. Perhaps it's the danger of "walking while female," or being small, or a combination of the three. But the inescapable truth is, despite all of my normal-world accomplishments, I am sitting at this computer tonight because of the above reasons, and I hate it.
Not that I disagree with you, but I'm curious. Why do you say a cane is not enough sensory information? If you could travel so much in the day, why couldn't you travel at night? Unless you are depending on your sight, if you have any, in which case it is a problem with your sight, not the cane. I don't feel there's any difference between travelling in the day and travelling at night, but that is because I am totally blind, and so it doesn't matter. I do however take more causion when walking at night, because there are less people around to see if something happens to me like I'm mugged or something.
I completely agree about this. What would you suggest?
honestly, it's a mental thing. considering I used to feel similarly, I had to get past the idea that traveling at nighttime was somehow different than doing so during the day. it isn't; at least, not in ways that should hender us from participating in activities we love/need/wanna take part in.
one of the reasons I love using a long cane is cause of the extra reaction time it allows for, that a folding/other cane doesn't. walking confidently and keeping your head up will help a lot, too.
Are cabs an option? If the night event is something you really want to do, taking a cab to and from could make things more relaxing for you. I thought of paratransit, but they stop at a certain hour. We have 24 hour cab service here.
The sensory issue is in the detection of people, not in my eyes, although I've got some sight. If you can hear someone coming, that does not tell you whether they are coming "at" you, as a dog is likely to alert you to (at least, in the case of my pet canines, they've been good about this).
Cabs in cities rack up cash, so they're not so much an option for luxury trips. Paratansit won't take me, bafflingly, because I am not double-disabled and can walk 20 feet unassisted.
This is, of course, a rant. :P If I had a solution I would have gone about it by now, I assure you. There is always a possibility of me just simply blazing the trail in front of me, but there is a cost-benefit issue of how dangerous it might be versus how much fun I might have.
When I read yth part about paratransit, all I could think of was "what on Earth?" I'm totally blind, with no other disabilities, and Access Link takes me places without a problem. I didn't realise that states had such different rules. I'm in New Jersey, if that helps.
You may or may not like my suggestion, but I would make the same for my sighted daughter. Well since she's still living at home it's more of a When you're out clubbing or going to a concert, you are always best suited to go with friends. Short of that, plan to take the route that is best lit. Predators are not carnivores. They are more opportunistic feeders and would rather accost a nervous small female who is exuding paranoia and fear. This makes them the greatest of pussies and you will do yourself a favor to remember that.
Contrary to the way a lot of parents talk to their kids about these guys, once the daughter was about 10, I started referring to potential stalkers as pussies when around her, well, weenies or wimps if the wife is around, just so she has a realistic perspectctive of what it is they are.
If you walk like you own the place and like you've a job to do, that will definitely help you. I'm sure you're already very on to that.
And when you are traveling in a group, they are not your slave: you are as much there for them as they are for you. Sad to say, but there is so much vulnerable and fearful prey available that they will gladly pass you by and keep looking for a easier target if you do these things.
We Americans in particular, though westerners in general, often feel like we want to wander by ourselves most of the time. And many cultures, women especially travel in bands. Why do you think these young gangster boys with beards are always in a group? You separate most of them from their group and you've not got much more than a puddle of fear with a temporary mask of bravado.
It gets harder in cities like New York, where instead of crowds of humans, you have a whole bunch of solo travelers who happen to be compressed into a smaller space, but still don't function like a crowd.
When I was in Japan, where crime is far less than the U.S., I noticed the Japanese would always go anywhere in crowds. I made a comment to oneof our hosts there once, about a friend of mine, saying he was a Japanese American. The host said, "Oh yeah, I know. He's every bit like you guys, I mean, he goes out wandering all over by himself."
I'm not saying lack of sight doesn't play into the situation, but if it did in any meaningful way then the statistics among blind people would show a far higher incidence of assault and robbery than among the population at large.
It sounds as if your biggest concern about traveling at night is the people who might try to harm you. I agree with all of the suggestions made about this and would also add that you would do well to invest in a tazer, pepperspray, a pocket knife, or any other form of protection you feel is necessary. It would be best to have a combination of these.
Becky
I would agree that a knife or something would help you to feel safe however I must agree with chelsy. It is a mental thing;a matter of confidence.
I don't know how many of you walk around with a knife, but in general I would highly recommend against that and aim for a tazer or a pepper spray that you can ensure you know is not facing you when you pull it out.
As said, it is mental: an analysis of cost-benefit. I am irritated that there isn't an easy way to get around at night as opposed to the daytime, when public transit is running at full tilt (in this city, buses stop early and the trains stop by 2 the latest, depending even then on where you are).
A can o' mace might be on the list of things to acquire, though.
I would actualy suggest the knife over a can of mace. However, I would not suggest a pocket knife. You can buy several styles of straight bladed knives, meaning ones that don't fold, and several kinds of sheaths that fit in several places. I would suggest finding one that is comfortable, concealable, and easy to draw. I'll explain why.
First, lets start with mace. In order for mace to be effective, you have to hit the attacker in a specific part of their body, the eyes. If they see you pulling out a can, flicking off a safety catch, and aiming it at their face, they can throw up an arm to block it, or turn away while you spray, and the mace is ineffective. Also, if you are too close to the person, which is possible, you will be effected by the mace also. Maybe not by having it spray in your eyes, but it will effect your breathing and make you cough, ETC. This, of course, is not something you wish to have happen when someone is attacking you.
Next, a baton. These are not bad ideas if your state allows them. However, they are a little heavy for some people to wear comfortably all day, and they are difficult to conceal. Also, they have a separate motion. That means that not only do you have to pull it out of your pocket, but you have to flick it rather forcefully in order to extend the baton. This takes time, which is something you don't have a lot of.
Also, any weapon like a baton, which uses force to cause damage, also requires area. You have to have the room to swing the thing hard enough to do the damage. If the target is standing too close to you, you won't be able to get enough power for the baton to be effective.
Next you might say martial arts would be a good idea. However, these are some of the worst ideas. Martial arts have one thing which cripple you when being attacked, they have rules. You are not allowed to put someone in the hospital or the morgue at your local judo lesson. They teach you how to win a match against someone else, who is following the same rules you are, with someone else there to make sure everyone behaves. You aren't in that situation when you're being attacked on the streets. There are no rules.
IN a street fight, the only rule is survival. You are looking to do anything in your power to survive, and that's it. It that requires running away, then you run away. If it requires stabbing the person in the chest, that's what you do. Martial arts don't prepare you for that. It also makes you predictable to someone who knows anything about fighting.
So what about tasars? Tasars aren't bad either, however they do have some drawbacks. First, you only get one try. Miss the target, have a misfire or something of that nature, and your tasar is now useless. Also, they can be blocked by thick clothing, like leather jackets and the like. Plus, the shock can actually be transmitted to you under the right circumstances, which would be bad.
So how about knives. Knives are also not bad ideas. However, as I said above, not ones that fold. First, you have to find it in your pocket or your purse, get it out, turn it to face the right direction, then unfold it. That takes a bit of time.
Then there is the fact that folding knives are not structurally sound. Yes, they are made of strong metal, but they are not designed for stabbing and fighting and the like. They just don't have the strength for that. Switchblades are the worst at this. Those are designed for flash, which is the last thing you want.
If you are going to get a knife, make it a knife that is straight, comfortable, and concealable, yet long enough to do the job. I prefer six inches, but you may have your own preferance, just as long as its more than four inches. You can find stores which sell knives, and you should ask as many questions as you can before buying one.
Last, we reach my recommendation, and you might not like it much. I would suggest a gun. You get multiple shots in case you miss, anywhere from five to twenty depending on what gun you use. it won't be stopped by a leather jacket, it can't effect you unless you do something stupid, and isn't effected by how close your target is. There is also no extra moves needed to bring it into play. You pull it out, point it, pull the trigger. That's it.
Now, I realize you may be afraid of guns, many people are, but let me assure you they aren't dangerous things. A gun is no different than a hammer, or a car, or a baseball bat. They are just objects, the danger depends on how you use them. No gun has ever just gone off on its own. They don't do that unless you put them in a fire.
I would suggest finding a gun range near you who rents guns, and asking if someone would be willing to take you, get you a gun that you might be comfortable with, and teaching you how to use it. It can actually be a very fun passtime. I do it as often as possible.
If you have any more questions, feel freee to ask me by private message.
Oh, and for any of you who think, "I'm totally blind, I can't use a gun". I direct you to look up carey McWilliams of Minnosota. You can find youtube videos of him shooting all sorts of guns, and he's totally blind. He'll even explain how to do it.
Traveling at night is a challenge; not an impossibility. OK, so yes, most public transportation is out of service by the time you need to get home from a particular event, but as Leo said, it's better to travel with friends, anyway. If you get a group of, say, 4 or 5 of you together, you could always split the cab fare. that way, when all is said and done, nobody will have to carry the financial burden of the entire evening. I, too, don't understand the concept that a cane is less effective in terms of picking up sensory information at night than it is during the day.
I should rephrase and say that a cane is not good enough at night, not that it's not any worse at night as opposed to the daytime.
Unfortunately, it has nothing at all to do with blindness. Any single woman is not completely safe when traveling alone at night in a city. Yes, being blind and using a dog or cane does scream out (target) to those who are looking. Yes, i have known blind folks who have been mugged/robbed walking at night. All you can do it to minimize the chances that the next will be you. Don't carry your Iphone in your hand, don't carry an expensive looking handbag, don't walk slowly and hunched over, don't allow yourself to be distracted from what you are doing and where you are. Yes, you may choose to carry some sort of weapon but, in reality, the sighted guy will have the advantage unfortunately. I am of the opinion that a knife is the best weapon for a woman alone however, you have to know how to use it and know that you will do so without hesitation. You can use a knife without the other person even realizing that you have it. You can aim for the inside of the thigh and, you will have them bleeding out before they even know what hit them. You, however, must be close, very close, to do this. With a gun, you are more likely to be seen taking it out. Although, I am not afraid of or opposed to guns. Hey, if gangster dudes and druggies can have 'em then, blind folks can too, right? Also, I hate to say it but, a blind woman with a big dog is less of an attraction than a blind woman alone with a white cane. Dog's have teeth.
All I can say is, be strong, be confident, think, plan ahead, and, be safe.
Agreed. However how much danger are you really in? Isn't much of this the result of paranoia?
I carry a small knife in my purse at all times whenever I leave my house. I haven't had to use it yet, thank goodness, but, it does make me feel safer knowing I have it just in case.
Is it paranoia? Probably. You aren't likely to be attacked because most people are not attacked. But personally I'd rather be ready for the attack and not have to use it, then have to use it and not be prepared.
If I never have to defend myself, I'll be very happy. That doesn't mean I don't know how to do it.
Just a quick comment. If you have a small knife in your purse that is not a useful weapon. Do you think the bad guy will stand there waiting while you fumble around getting it out? You must have any weapon handy and able to be used in one second.
As for, is there real danger or just paranoia? Um. this makes me laugh. This person must not live in a city. How could anybody even think there is no danger in traveling alone at night? You are truly living in fantasy-land if you think that you are safe out there on the streets alone at night. Maybe you will be mugged, maybe you will be killed or raped, maybe someone will just hassle you verbally, maybe someone will just bother you for money, maybe someone will touch or grab you inappropriately, and, maybe you will have nothing happen to you.
I assure anybody reading this that I am far far from paranoid. Rofl!
I freaking love you. I am going through the same thing. It's especially hard, because I'm losing what little functional vision I had in the first place. Some unpleasant things have happened to me at day or night, and security is a constant issue for me as well. Unfortunatley, I don't exactly have a choice, and it's pretty much always night time in my world now. I h classes to go to. I bump into shit, get lost because of construction, run into creepers or almost get hit by cars...it's just a reality for us, and I don't have an answer, but I'm just so relieved to find someone who is on my same wavelength.
Cody is absolutely right.
I carry foldable blades at all times, but for utility purposes.
It is not a weapon. A straight of at least six inches, though like he says you can probably drop to 4, is what you need. I prefer a full tang construction - that means the metal goes all the way to the base of the hilt.
But a knife would take skill as a weapon. Most people draw it incorrectly and don't even know how they would use it in any practical fashion.
Guns are only a challenge because of gun laws, and if you travel between states you can have competing regulations. In Oregon you can carry concealed, while in Idaho it has to be exposed.
You have to be the master of your situation, where you're headed, who you're with, how you plan to get there and come back, etc.
You don't even need to live in a big city to be a victim of an attack, nor do you need to be blind, or be a woman, for that matter. My sister's20-year-old sighted boyfriend got mugged at night in a fairly small town, his bike was stolen, and the bastards got away because the dudes who did it were doing their best to camouflage with the night. Apparently, they did a pretty good job. Everybody should take caution when travelling at night, but nobody should have to refrain from doing it altogether.
All of this discussion about knives: Yes. That's exactly what I mean about it not being the best choice for most people, blind or sighted.
I am pleased with the direction this thread is taking.
Anyone can get mugged, especially if there are multiple people working together to pick off targets. All of the mentioned issues, though, increase your likelihood by independent measures: Being young, walking without confidence (hunched over, looking worried, etc.), carrying expensive items, being female, being disabled.
It's dangerous for anyone to walk alone in the dark, that's just how night-time works. However, in the city (and in certain small towns), encountering a "normal" mugger is less likely than encountering someone who is suffering the worst effects of mental illness or addiction, which changes up your game from "defend self" to "get the fuck out of there," especially if you can't use your eyes to quickly establish the physical signs. I assure you, having been in that boat, figuring it by hearing and scent takes several precious seconds you do not have.
Also, with regards to pepper spray and other like items, be careful about advocating carrying those. In some states/provinces/countries it is illegal to carry pepper spray with the intent of using it on humans (this is the case in Canada).
Kate
I agree with most of these suggestions, personally iI would have to disagree with theknife idea..
I hate the thought that something of mine could ever be used against me, so I would never think of bringing a knife in any situation other than actually cutting something.
My approach for comfort would probably be martial arts, I know a plethra of people who it has benefited.. From male to female, from old to young, from large to small...
The two martial arts I would highly recommend are Kajukenbo and Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.
First of all Kajukenbo is a martial art created in Hawai'i for precisely this reason, self defense. They teach everything from groin shots to eye gouges to breaking their noise in the correct way. Most of the instructrs take it seriously, so it's all about going 100 percent all the other is Brazillian Jiu-jitsu, it is a sport that I have fallen in love with, this article right here will explain the benefits of BJJ to women both older and younger. http://voices.yahoo.com/why-girls-learn-brazilian-jiu-jitsu-4262875.html
Anyways, From what it sounds like you are confident about yourself as well as your trouble, it's just night time is not the best. I will just suggest to do as much night travel as you can (as uncomfortable as it may be) i've learned that the more you do something the better it gets, who knows.. You may even fall in love with the night as I have..
Definitely agree with you, Papa Cherry. Even if we know how to use things correctly, they can still be used against us. I'm honestly at a loss for self-defense solutions...wish I had time to take a basic self-defense class and actually retain what I learn. Such is the life of a student...lol
One thing that's always given me comfort even though I've never needed to use it is a personal alarm. I may have posted about it in another topic, but I'll do so again for those who don't know. Generally they're about the size of a pager and are designed to clip onto a belt. Some have a button that sets them off while others have a pin, also called a tag, that you pull out via a looped cord. They're extremely loud (up to 120 decibals), and some have a light that can be used for ordinary lighting purposes without triggering the alarm and also. What I tended to do whenI went out in public was to clip the actual alarm to my belt but also loop the cord over y belt so that even if someone managed to get the alarm away from me it would be extremely difficult to do so without setting it off unless they broke the cord. They tend to use 9-volt batteries. But if you use it wisely it'll not only deter the attacker but also attract the attention of folks who can help you out if necessary.
I heard there are backpacks that have those. My boyfriend's mom just told me about them the other day. The closest thing I have to one of those is a whistle and the 911 button on my Haven (whosever idea that was was genius).
I see what silver lightning is saying, however it seems a bit crazy to me. How often have any of you actually felt threatened?
Just a little food for thought, the average response time across america for 911, is five to seven minutes. Time yourself one of these times, see how much you can get done in five to seven minutes. Then think of how much a criminal could get done. That's assuming that you have the time and ability to pick up the phone, call, state your name and address, then tell your emergency, all before the criminal in question just knocks the phone out of your hand.
I highly suggest listening to some of the 911 calls you can find online. There are some where you can sit and listen to the caller describe the person trying to break into their house for nearly twenty minutes. I've even heard one where you can hear the shots of the lady who kills the guy who breaks into her house while she's waiting for the police. You also get to hear her screams as the guy tries to strangle her. Its heart wrenching stuff.
Just food for thought.
That's true. Then there's all those instances where the 911 system failed utterly to prevent murders despite several different calls related to the same incident, and I mean calls from different people at more or less exactly the same time as the crime was being committed. I remember watching a Dr. Phil show dedicated to this very issue. One case in point was a woman who was abducted by her x husband and locked in the trunk of the guy's car. Somehow she managed to conceal her phone on her so she could call 911. Well apparently the driver was acting suspicious or driving eratically and several others called 911 as a result. Needless to say the woman still ended up dead. And there were quite a few other instances that were discussed, among them a case where a child called 911 to get help for his ill mother and the dispatcher repeatedly told him sharply to stop playing on the phone. Again, by the time the child was taken seriously it was too late. So no, 911 is not the be all and end all of safety.
the sad part is that there really are people who call 911 as a joke, or for absolutely ridiculous reasons. In a way, they're ruining it for those of us who have real emergencies, but in a way, I can't blame them, as harmful as their actions are. 911 operators should always, always take a call seriously until they have just cause to believe it's a fake.
If they do it on a marine radio, they get 3 hots and a cot at the federal Hotel someplace, sharing a 6x9 with a stranger. No joke. I don't know what 911 people do about it, but for those who think it is a joke, don't do it with a marine radio!
On the contrary, if you do need help you should never hesitate to call, since nobody can respond and assist if they don't know you're out there.
I've heard those calls lightning and they are difficult to listen to.
i think traveling with friends is a better idea.
Fine and dandy if you've got friends who are willing to do that. But if not you need a backup option.
exactly; you can never be too safe these days lol.